Hi there, people of Canada.... it's awfully embarrassing to be an American at this point. Do try to put up with the present lunacy - it's like Uncle Don's been sneaking out back and smoking some bath salts again. We need to corner him and get him into treatment - it would be very sad if he weren't surrounded by ass kissers as bad or worse than him.
We need to get him loaded up in a cattle car and transported to a detox facility. Or something.